By Jenny Pope
*This is the third article in a series which follows David and Amy McDurham through the international adoption process. The McDurhams are adopting from China through Buckner Adoption and Maternity Services. Look for the next article in Buckner Today Winter 2008.
They’ve been logged in to the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs now for over a year, and the wait is not getting any shorter. But for David and Amy McDurham, life is good.
“I want to be a mother. I’m excited to be a mother. But I’m also completely happy with my life,” Amy said. “I realize that I need to be content here, right now. So I’m OK with this. I’m OK with waiting.”
“It’s not like it’s the first time we’ve had to wait for a child,” David piped in.
And the McDurhams now have something new to occupy their time. After nearly 12 years of marriage, they decided to add a furry bundle to their family – a Pomeranian puppy named Sampson.
Midnight potty training and teething woes have proved to be good parenting lessons, they joked. “When you include another being in your life, everything changes,” Amy said.
“It’s been interesting seeing how each of us reacts to Sampson, too,” she noted. “I’m not spastic about it, or fretting over every little thing. But David, he’s a little more anxious.”
Initially, the couple expected to travel this fall to meet Little Dumpling, the name they’ve already ascribed to their little girl. Now, realistically, they’re hoping to meet their daughter sometime in late 2009.
“Looking back on this year is kind of like New Years,” David said. “It makes you stop and reflect. And honestly, it gives me hope. It’s helped me to see, ‘You know what, we’ve done a year and we can do another. We’ll be fine.’”
Amy agreed. “It’s gone faster than I thought it would,” she said. “I feel grateful for where we are. So many good things have come from that dark period in our lives… and there are so many people we’ve met through this that we wouldn’t have known otherwise.”
With hours spent each day doting on little Sampson, their interest in the adoption “rumor blogs” has died down. “I’ve completely backed off trying to figure out what’s going on,” Amy said.
The couple suspects that their application is currently in the CCAA review room, where someone will study the McDurhams profile to ensure their application is complete and then write a summary about who they are. This summary is crucial because it’s the first time someone makes a recommendation as to the age and demeanor of the child (or children) best suited for them.
Afterwards, the summary is transferred to the matching room, where another individual will ultimately pair them with Little Dumpling.
“The review room is really important,” David said. “I used to think it was the matching room, but it’s not. If someone was to read our application and want to ask us more questions about something, we could be pulled from the queue and placed into another group… which could mean we end up waiting even longer.”
But Amy and David have made a conscious decision to pray about the process and live in the moment.
“I think life is all about choice and how you choose to look at something,” Amy said. “I have a choice to get upset about it or I have a choice not to. And for me, I’ve chosen to be present.
“This wait is very different than I thought it would be a year ago, but a lot of good things have happened. And we’re really happy.”
One Year Down 
